Letting Go

In Volume Two of "A Voice For a Lifetime in 30 Days" I discuss the issues surrounding Stage Presence, and Performing in general. I talk about the inner critic, that nasty little voice that keeps grabbing your attention while you are trying to perform, and offer some tips on silencing it.

For this month's lesson, I'd like to review some of the principles I mention there for those of you who have yet to obtain that particular volume, and specifically the path to "letting go" rather than "controlling" your performance.

You hear me say constantly that you are not the creator of your talent. You are merely the vehicle through which it flows out into the world. That being said, there's a part of you that disputes that statement, and wants to be recognized as the MAKER of this voice you have. That's your EGO!

In volume 2, I call it Self "s". Self "s" is the one that loves the word "should" and is always telling us what to do and how to do it. It loves to predict upcoming failures or comment on things that have already happened with "if only" this or that. Self "s" is constant. It never shuts up. It includes not just our own thoughts, but those of our parents, our teachers, and others, and it demands our undivided attention.

Generally, it includes everything we "think" we should be doing or worrying about. We keep Self "s" around because we are convinced that we need it. Self "s" is our friend. It stands to reason then that "letting go" of this chattering in our brain isn't easy.

A great example of this self "s" can be found in one of my favorite books about performing called "The Inner Game of Music".

In Chapter 7, the author writes:

"Let's look at something like Falling Asleep. Falling asleep is something you naturally know how to do, but cannot do when your conscious mind is running a mile a minute. If there's nothing on your mind you are usually able to fall asleep quickly and without making any effort, but when your mind is full of a thousand worries, it's close to impossible.

This is Self "s" at work. It's nagging voice will tell you all about tomorrow's problems, or run a complete inventory of the day that just past. Quite often, it will even take a hand in the business of falling asleep itself.

"You're not tired enough to sleep right now".

or

"You're exhausted but there are still a number of problems we haven't resolved yet, and you'll never get to sleep while you're thinking so much"!

Or it'll say,

"Go to sleep! Go On! Relax! Stop wiggling so much".

The problem is that as long as you're trying to do it, you can't! Counting sheep, or your breaths, as some do, are techniques to deflect your attention from "Self "s", so that Self "S", the Spirit Self can drift off to sleep. In other words, when we "let go" of the constant instructions and judgements of self "s" by concentrating on something else, we can finally fall asleep.

It's pretty much the same when we perform. Self "s" wants to instruct us, but it is Self "S" that contains the talent and the ability to bring the performance to life, so the task is to trust and have confidence in this ability of Self "S" every time we perform. Self "s" will nag at us to not trust Self "S" and will fight for our attention, but as our confidence grows, we see that in letting go of the ego, the conscious mind, and allowing the Spirit to control what is going on, we are going beyond our limitations and making our performance spontaneous and powerful! Following are some sequential techniques to letting go of self "s".

Techniques to Letting Go!

Letting go is sometimes embarrassing, scary, and a difficult process. But until you can pass through the temporary discomfort, you will not have the opportunity to discover what Self "S" has to offer you. So take the plunge! Do these exercises and just see what is waiting for you on the other side! These are to be practiced in order whenever you sing in front of people)

Technique #1 - Role Playing

Sometimes it's easier to just pretend that you are a confident, experienced, and powerful performer. Try taking on the persona of a singer or performer you admire and "FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT!"

Technique #2 - Becoming the Music

Losing yourself in the character you are portraying musically, or in the emotions and message of the song will help you to keep your attention OFF of your vocal cords, or your breathing. The more into the music you get, the less these impingements have a chance to get in your way.

Technique #3 - Doing Something Familiar

Associate the song you are performing with some other activity that is very easy and familiar like bathing for instance. While you are performing, imagine yourself in the shower...(where so many legendary performances occur, right?) You will be amazed how much more easily the voice comes out of you when you do this.

Technique #4 - Concentrating on Your Environment

Look around the space where you are performing. Choose something or someone to receive your message. Zero in on this object or person and CONNECT with it!

Technique #5 - Becoming Embarrassed

If letting go is sometimes embarrassing, but leads you to the place where the real YOU can do it's (your) thing, then it's best to get that embarrassing moment out of the way as soon as possible. My own moment came when I was in the middle of a medley of songs about "rhythm". The medley started with "Crazy Rhythm", segued into "Fascinatin' Rhythm", and ended with "I Got Rhythm".

I had the whole visual part of this medley planned out in my head, but could not quiet the inner critic who kept telling me that I would make a fool of myself with this medley because while I have rhythm in my voice, I have none in my feet. I simply can't dance! And true to form, I fell flat on my backside trying to do a Gene Kelly move in the middle of the thing. The audience laughed like crazy. I was totally humiliated, but directly behind that was a revelation! Self "S" stepped right in and turned the whole thing into a comedy sketch, by exaggerating my clumsiness. The crowd roared with approval...and that medley became one of most requested numbers I did.

Do something ridiculous, singers! Embarrass yourself. Once you do, you will get past it and never have to be embarrassed again. You have just stepped over the hump!

Technique #6 - The Final Challenge - Try Something "Impossible!"

That note you never have been able to hit with clarity or power? Go for it now! That phrase that you can never complete in one breath? Do it now! Can it get any worse than embarrassing yourself to death? No! It cannot! You are now over the hump and on the other side where Self "S" is King. From now on, Self "s" will dim with every performance.

Try it and see for yourself!